CONCUSSION PROTOCOL OR EXISTENTIAL DREAD? WEEKLY INJURY UPDATE
The roster faces a wave of metaphysical setbacks ranging from spectral haunting to basic mechanical failures of entry and exit.
Brick 'The Wall' Henderson | OUT | Currently haunting the gym after a disastrous Game 7 loss | Jaxson Storm | DOUBTFUL | Emotionally compromised after favorite podcast host got cancelled | Rick O'Shea | QUESTIONABLE | Significant Wi-Fi latency issues during VR film study session | 'Iron' Mike McMann | GAME-TIME DECISION | Physically stuck in a revolving door at the venue | Silas Van Pelt | PROBABLE | Suffering from severe bad vibes following a dream about his middle school crush | Brock Hardcheese | OUT | Underwent emergency personality transplant surgery | Dusty Knuckles | QUESTIONABLE | Has forgotten how to close his left hand for non-threatening reasons | Chet 'The Menace' Sterling | PROBABLE | Distracted by a particularly high-quality pigeon outside the training camp
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