WEEK OF UNCERTAINTY: Medical Staff Confused by Spiritual Ailments
The physio room resembles an existential crisis center as key starters face more metaphysical hurdles than physical ones.
Marco Vivaldi | QUESTIONABLE | Overcome by the inherent sadness of a perfect sunset | Jean-Pierre Baguette | DOUBTFUL | Stuck in a philosophical loop regarding the offside rule | Sterling Silverton | OUT | Currently haunted by a Victorian child he met at a corner kick | Lars Lugnut | GAME-TIME DECISION | Toes are currently on strike for better sock conditions | Tiago Taco | PROBABLE | Minor bruising to his ego after a neglected high-five | Benedict Cumbergoal | QUESTIONABLE | Wi-Fi issues during an mandatory VR tactical yoga session | Zlatan Ibrahimov-ish | OUT | Emotionally compromised by a particularly moving insurance commercial | Flash Gordon-Smythe | DOUBTFUL | Legally considered 'Missing' after a very intense game of hide-and-seek
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